Neilseph Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

adolf hitler, drama, rape culture, star wars, time travel, true love 
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BOOM! The time traveling process has begun. Neilseph- I mean, Mr.Guard and I were standing on the time travel pad. We were in what looked like hyperspace from star wars. I peeked over the edge of the pad, just because I was curious.
Neilseph Henery Hitler Guard III then quickly says, "You better be careful ehhh you don't wanna fall off the edge, riiight? You'd be forever lost in time, okaaiiy? Yeah." Oh boy, that would suck. I then tell him, "I'm sorry, Mr.Guard. It was just so beautiful- I just HAD to look."
"Well, nobody cares what it looks like, riiight? If you fall off you're dead. Now stand close to me, we're almost there." WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING?? I WAS SO SCARED. Then suddenly we stop. We are right in the middle of river-time. I can see time flowing around me. I looked to my left, and I saw the birth of Jesus Christ. Weird, he always had a beard. huh. I can also see things in the future. I look to my right, and I see Trumps re-election. Neilseph then gives me a purple-nurple, and exclaimed "HEY. Stop looking at these events! You are NOT allowed to see them! It could change the way things go!" He then turns to the left, and looks at what I saw. He let out a very deep, upset sigh. He rubs his eyes, looks up at me and starts off low and slow, " I swear to fucking god" He then gets louder. "If Trump then doesn't get re-elected because you looked at it- and butterfly effect or whatever- I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, STUPID BITCH-CUNT!" A single tear falls down my cheek. I feel a welp in my throat. I say nothing, other than "Yes, Mr.Guard." He then grabs me by the hair and presses this button on the pad. A bunch of stair come out of it sand lead us to this specific spot in the river. He walks down there, STILL DRAGGING ME BY THE HAIR, and he pushes me in. Neilseph waited there for a second, put on a swimming suit and jumped in. He shouted, " WHEEEEEEE, THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIME IN HISTORRRYYYYYYYYYYYY- HEEE HEEEEEEE!"


Finally! I've been waiting forever for the latest installment of the famous Neilseph series. :o

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